What exactly is a f*ckboy (variant spellings “f*ckboi” and “f*ccboi”)? The f*ckboy has existed all throughout history and continues to evolve. He is basically a cross between a man-slut (more emphasis on slut than man) and a basic bro. Throw in disrespectful tendencies and you got yourself one good-for-nothing f*ckboy. Do not be deceived by physical appearance, ladies. Just like the Pokémon, Ditto, the modern-day f*ckboy comes in many different shapes and sizes. If you think you are being victimized by a f*ckboy, RUN! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Here Are 18 Signs He’s Probably A F*ckboy:
1. You don’t hear from him ALL day. When two A.M. rolls around, he slides into your inbox with a “You up?”
2. His overuse of the following emojis in his Instagram captions and your text conversations is almost nauseating:
4. His idea of spontaneity is sending unsolicited dick pictures. Oh? It’s three P.M. on a Wednesday, and you’re in a meeting? HAH! Well, girl…SURPRISE!
5. He blows you off last minute and provides little or no explanation.
6. The number of women in his life is one giant mystery. You have no idea if those girls who are blowing up his social media are friends or f*ck buddies. When you ask him, he claims that they’re all “just friends.”
7. He has an extensive repertoire of pick-up lines when Tindering, texting, at the bar, really whenever he has the chance to “flirt”:
“You’re a 9/10, and I’m the one you need.”
“You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?”
“Your daddy must have been a baker, ’cause you’ve got a nice set of buns.”
“Are you a beaver? Cuz dam.”
8. He’s that drunk asshole at the bar who spills beer all over you and doesn’t apologize or offer to buy you another drink.
10. The c-word, homophobic slurs, or “slut” fires out of his mouth like any other word. He uses any of them with zero discretion.
11. He reveals every single little sexual detail to his other f*ckboys.
12. Standard f*ckboy questions and phrases:
“We dem boyssss!”
“I can’t BELIEVE you don’t trust me!”
“Dude, I totally banged her.”
“What would you do if I were there with you right now?”
“I’m really not looking for anything serious.”
“Are you on your period or something?”
“I really don’t know what I want right now.”
13. His obscenely high Snapchat score forces you to wonder what photos and videos he’s sending/receiving.
14. He always talks about how he wants to make shitloads of money but has no ambition.
15. He will ONLY communicate with you via Snapchat or text message. Don’t even bother calling. After ignoring your call, he’ll immediately shoot you a “sup?” text.
16. He’ll go MIA for three consecutive days. When he finally texts you, he’ll act completely clueless as to why you’re upset. But he always crops up some vague excuse:
“Just tryin’ to figure my shit out”
“Been super busy with shit”
“Needed some me-time”
Some technological problem: “My phone died,” “My phone broke,” or “Couldn’t find my phone”
17. He refers to his group of f*ckboy friends as his “squad.”
18. The topic of conversation always seems to relate to him. And If you think about it, you’re pretty sure he has never actually asked you, “How was your day?”